Monday, October 8, 2007

Thought Becomes Deed

I arrived at the diner and pulled my keys from the ignition with the same motion that had turned the vehicle off. As I slid out of the seat I slipped my hand into my pocket, confirming that my wallet was within. It wasn't.

I checked my other pockets, and then the spare pair of pants I had in my bag - although I hadn't worn them. I opened the glove compartment, checked under and behind the seats, and in all the pockets of my bag. The wallet just wasn't there.

Panic rose in my throat. Had I left it at work? Work was half an hour's drive, and closed for the night. Further, this was Sunday night, so they wouldn't be open again until Friday. It would really have been problematic if I had left my wallet there.

I took a breath, released it slowly. No, I decided, you left your wallet on the desk at home. I smiled, and grabbed the ten dollar bill I had discovered when I had been searching, and brought it with me. I had to be careful how much I ordered, but it was a fun time with my coworkers.

I found my wallet on my desk the next morning - it was half buried in a small pile of papers.

What am I getting at here, anyway?


Jennifer B Worthington said...

Almost two years down the track and much has changed, but only because I wanted it to. Depression, misery,whatever, are like smoking, a stinking, disgusting habit that's hard to break, no matter how many times people tell you to quit, be it for love, for life, for your kids... It wont happen until the depress(ee) wants to quit. Hell, I've quit a million times or more to try to please other people, and it never happens, the time and reason has got to be right for me. Two years down the track I realise how your setting up this blog was a heartfelt attempt to help other people, and I was a cunt to you. I hope you haven't done anything drastic like killed yourself or slumped back into the hole again, at least not before you read this apology, and realise, that your kindness and good intentions have not gone amiss with me, it was simply a case of the time not being the right time for me back then. Depression will always be a filthy bad habit lurking in the shadows for me, just like that deadly cigarette that's so tempting to pick back up, but at least there are times now when I can rise above it enough to say thank you to people like you.

Take care out there


Jennifer B

aka error404

Terence said...

Thanks, Jennifer. That's appreciated.